Food, flirting & fashion- a French romantic meal

While living in France, one realizes fairly quickly that food, flirting and fashion form the daily staple of life here. The French “art de vivre” or art of living is inextricably linked to these three Fs and there is no escaping them.

 

France is, of course, known the world over for its haute cuisine and gastronomy. In 2010, UNESCO even recognized “French gastronomic meals” as a part of humanity’s “intangible cultural heritage”, thereby, honoring the French tradition of celebrating important life events by a convivial gathering with friends and family around a beautifully set table for a gourmet meal, made from fresh ingredients and local produce, teamed with the right wine and accompanied by sparkling conversation.

 

The gastronomic experience is above all a social custom that ritualizes the joy of getting together. The emphasis is on slowness. It is all about slow food-- painstaking selection of ingredients, meticulous care in marrying flavors, slow cooking, artistic presentation and food that is to be eaten and appreciated slowly. It begins with an aperitif, moves on to a four or five course meal including a starter, a main dish of fish/meat with vegetables, a cheese course and dessert and ends with a digestive. Such a meal can easily last for three to four hours, with food, more often than not, being a dominant conversation piece.

 

The French are proud of this shared, living heritage of good eating and drinking that showcases the diversity of local and regional dishes and wines and that is being passed down from generation to generation. Inevitably, the fast pace, as well as the cost, of modern life is curtailing gourmet meals. But although fast food has its fans among the young and long lunch breaks are typically a thing of the past, a large majority still avoid munching on a sandwich with their eyes on a computer screen or gobbling something on the go.

 

Food is respected. It is to be enjoyed seated at a table, savored and lingered over. Not for the French the act of balancing a plate on their knees while juggling fork, knife and a glass of wine. Food is a feast for the eyes, nose, tongue; a sensory experience. The French are quite passionate about their food and drink. In fact, it is a bit like a love affair, with some chefs even going so far as to say that tasting a gourmet dish should be like a “gustatory orgasmic experience”.

 

“Food is the ante-chamber to a romantic relationship. It is a kind of foreplay. It titillates the senses, stirs desire,” declared Marie-Laure, a French friend recently. “We like refinement in both our food and love,” she said emphatically.

 

And it is true that the country that has given the world the model of the “French lover” has refined its flirting techniques to an art form. In France, random strangers let unknown women know through subtle gestures or words that they are beautiful or alluring and the women appreciate the admiring glances and compliments as long as the requisite distance is kept, no boorishness is involved and there is no element of forcing. The woman decides if she wishes to engage. Consent is key. Men and women of all ages flirt in the street, in shops, in restaurants, in queues, in the metro… Flirting is less about the hooking up and more about the enjoyment.

 

“It is not enough to conquer, one must learn to seduce,” said Voltaire, 18th century French philosopher and writer. “Séduire” or seduce is a word that pops up astonishingly often in French conversations and is not imbued with the overtly sexual connotation that it has in English. It means to charm, attract or win over and does not necessarily involve body contact but rather, verbal wit, skilled banter and wordplay. Here, seduction is a way of being, a way of life, almost a national pastime. In France, the process of charming begins with the intellect. Both sexes learn the beguiling power of words early on: logic and reason but also poetry and flights of fancy. But for all the artful conversations, there’s still a lot that remains cloaked in mystery, which is merely hinted at but left unsaid, allowing the imagination to create its own erotic fantasies. For the French, subtlety and suggestiveness are vital for sensuality.

 

French women adopt a similar approach when it comes to fashion, an important aid in the game of seduction. A whiff of perfume, a glimpse of cleavage, understated elegance, muted colors, the right accessories, all thrown together to achieve a look of effortless chic. Their preferred look is classy yet sexy. They embrace their femininity. Unfortunately however, many dress for men rather than themselves, drawing inspiration from French writer, Françoise Sagan’s advice: “A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off you.”

 

These days, as couples in France bond over a romantic meal, the three Fs, food, flirting and fashion, will once more be in evidence.

 

 

 

 

Written by Paris-based writer Radha Kapoor-Sharma, this article was published on the Indian Express